“Small church does not mean small responsibility”
Churches often have something very special: community.
People know one another. Families share meals. Leaders may be friends with parents.
Children attend Bible studies in homes. People pray together, travel together and
support one another through life.
These relationships are not the problem.
The goal is not to remove healthy relationships — it is to make those relationships safe, transparent and accountable.
A simple principle:
“Relationships can be personal.
Safeguards must still be organisational”.
When someone is acting in a church leadership, ministry or volunteer role involving
children, the church’s child-safety expectations and Code of Conduct continue to apply
— even when the relationship is also a friendship or family connection.
What does safe ministry look like?
Be transparent
Ask: “Would I be comfortable if another trusted adult knew about this interaction?”
Healthy ministry relationships should be:
- transparent rather than secretive
- accountable rather than dependent on one person’s judgement
- appropriate to the child’s age and circumstances
- consistent with the church’s Code of Conduct
- observable where reasonably practicable.
“Trust is important — but safeguards should not depend on
whether we personally trust someone”.
One-on-one relationships
Sometimes a child or young person genuinely needs individual pastoral care, prayer,
mentoring or support.
The aim is not to make this impossible.
Instead:
- avoid unnecessary isolation where reasonably practicable
- use observable or appropriate environments
- let another appropriate adult know when individual ministry is occurring
- keep parents/carers appropriately informed
- use church-approved communication channels
- avoid secret or exclusive relationships
- follow the church’s policies for pastoral care, transport and communication.
Remember:
“Privacy is not the same as secrecy”.
A child may need a private conversation. They should never be encouraged to believe
that their relationship or communication with a leader must be kept secret.
Bible studies and ministry in homes
A church activity does not stop being a church activity because it happens in
someone’s home.
For home-based ministry, consider:
- Who is responsible for the children?
- Who else is present?
- Are parents/carers aware?
- Is supervision appropriate?
- What happens if only one child attends?
- What happens if a leader unexpectedly finds themselves alone with a child?
- Are the adults appropriately screened and trained?
- Does the church’s Code of Conduct apply?
- What is the process if a child raises a concern or makes a disclosure?
“The location may change.
The responsibility for child safety does not”.
Family friendships
It is perfectly possible for church leaders to have genuine friendships with families.
However, leaders should recognise when they are also exercising pastoral authority,
influence or responsibility toward a child.
Ask: “Am I acting as a friend, or am I acting in my church/ministry role?”
Sometimes the answer may be both.
When that happens, transparency and accountability become particularly important.
Transport
Where leaders transport children or young people:
- follow the church’s transport policy
- obtain appropriate parental/carer permission
- avoid unnecessary one-on-one transport where reasonably practicable
- consider whether another appropriate adult or passenger can be present
- communicate clear pick-up and drop-off arrangements
- avoid private transport arrangements that are hidden from parents/carers or the
church.
“Unexpected situations can happen.
Use good judgement and communicate or document them
according to church policy”.
Communication & social media
Close-knit communities can make communication very informal.
Leaders should:
- use approved communication methods
- avoid secret or disappearing messages
- avoid unnecessary private messaging with children
- keep communication appropriate to the child’s age and ministry relationship
- involve parents/carers appropriately
- follow the church’s communication and social-media policies.
“The same principles of safety and transparency apply online as
they do in person”.
Physical contact
Christian ministry naturally involves warmth, prayer and sometimes physical contact.
The question isn’t simply: “Can we touch a child?”
Instead ask: “Is this contact appropriate, welcomed, observable and consistent with our Code
of Conduct?”
“Always respect a child’s wishes about physical contact”.
When something feels “grey”
Not every uncomfortable situation is automatically reportable conduct.
But “I’m not sure” is a perfectly good reason to seek advice.
Leaders should never feel they have to work out a difficult situation alone.
A healthy church culture allows someone to say:
“I’m not making an accusation. I just want to check that we’re handling this
appropriately.”
“Seeking advice early is a strength — not an admission of
wrongdoing”.
Concern or reportable conduct?
A boundary concern, a child-safety concern and reportable conduct are not necessarily
the same thing.
Do not assume: “It’s not reportable conduct, so it must be okay.”
Instead:
NOTICE → CHECK → RESPOND → REPORT/ESCALATE
Follow the church’s child-safety procedures and seek advice whenever required.
Where the Victorian Reportable Conduct Scheme applies, the church must follow the
relevant notification and investigation requirements.
The question every leader can ask
Before an interaction with a child or young person, ask:
“Would I be comfortable if another trusted adult knew about this?”
If yes — that’s encouraging.
If no — pause and seek advice.
Our goal
Child safety does not mean creating a church where everyone is afraid to know one another.
It means creating a community where:
- relationships are healthy,
- boundaries are clear,
- leaders are accountable,
- children are heard,
- concerns are taken seriously,
- and everyone understands that safeguarding is everyone’s responsibility.
“We can be warm, relational and genuinely community-minded —
while also being transparent, accountable and committed to
protecting every child”.
